Many men are familiar with the situation when an outwardly bright and sexy woman is cold in bed – that is, overly reserved, or generally indifferent to sex.
In such cases, excitement is usually followed by disappointment, because for most men the sexual aspect of the relationship is extremely important.
But what if you really like your partner and don’t want to break up with her? Is there any way to rectify the situation? Let’s try to understand the causes of a woman’s coldness and look for ways to solve the problem.
Where do cold women come from?
Ladies who do not crave sex and do not enjoy it are called frigid in medical language. Statistically, such women account for about 20% of the total, i.e. one in five. But experienced sexologists say that there are far fewer truly frigid women. This refers to true frigidity due to physiological or hormonal disturbances. This cause of female coldness is quite difficult to correct, but is very rare – only 5% of the cases.
More often, frigidity is due to psychological reasons, which include:
An overly strict upbringing. If, as a child, her mother has indoctrinated her daughter that only promiscuous, naughty girls think about sex – this may well be the cause of frigidity.
Psychological trauma as a result of experiencing sexual abuse. Any negative emotions associated with sex can cause an aversion to it.
Complexes. Many women worry a lot about their real and imagined physical shortcomings. Once in bed with a man, they don’t think about sex, but rather that their partner will notice their cellulite or sagging breasts. Of course, such thoughts are not conducive to pleasure.
Fear of getting pregnant. If all measures for reliable contraception are not taken, it will be difficult for a woman to relax during sex.
Fear of pain of gynecological diseases. Many diseases of the female reproductive system cause unpleasant, painful sensations during physical intimacy with a man. As a consequence, the woman becomes afraid and avoids sex, refusing it under any pretext.
Accumulated resentments. If a woman used to be a passionate lover, but over time she has turned into a cold iceberg, this may indicate that she is resentful towards her partner. Reasons for resentment can be very different, e.g. rudeness, indifference or man’s cheating.
Important: Another common cause of female coldness is indifference to one’s partner. The fact is that most women’s emotions and sexual attraction are fused together. And if your partner feels nothing for you, then sex with you will not attract her. It’s easy to see that this is the reason by the woman’s behavior. If she is cold to you not only in bed, but also in everyday life, i.e. never kisses you or says gentle words to you, then a sad conclusion is inevitable.
What can be done?
Firstly, it should be made clear that a woman’s coldness is a very delicate problem that a loving man should be patient and tactful when confronted. The woman should never be outraged, confronted or make inappropriate jokes. Such destructive behavior can only worsen the situation and make it irreparable.
But, of course, you shouldn’t keep quiet and pretend that everything is normal either. In this situation, there is only one solution: talk seriously with the woman about the reasons for her coldness.
After all, only if you know what the root of the problem is, you will be able to solve it. But here, too, things may not go as smoothly as we would like. Much depends on how long you are in a relationship with the woman, and whether she trusts you. If there is no mutual trust between the two of you, she is unlikely to be forthright.
Anyway, if you love and care for a woman, in 9 out of 10 cases the problem of female coldness has a chance of being resolved. Especially if your partner is also deeply interested in a relationship with you. Even if the issue is frigidity, there are nowadays effective treatments for this disorder. The most important thing is that the woman listens to you and agrees to go to a doctor for help.
The situation can only be a dead end if your partner does not love you and does not feel attracted to you as a man.
It is unlikely that she will admit this to you herself, so you have to feel whether this is the case or not. If the reason is a lack of love, then you need to forgive and let go. But if love does still exist in your relationship, you will surely be able to achieve harmony in sex as well.