Sometimes jealousy can cloud judgment, and it may be hard to decide what is true. There are some traces of behavior when a partner is cheating.
Even if the signs are matching with the behavior of the girl, it doesn’t mean she is cheating. Signs by itself don’t prove anything – only confessing can be the key.
When a partner is cheating, she feels guilt. Some people become more sensitive and anxious. As a result, they start accusing their partner with or without proper reason.
It can be noticeable in small conflicts. Some women may say things like: “you always act like you don’t care” or “you are always like this”. This indicates an inner feeling of disappointment in a relationship and sometimes the feelings of guilt and shame.
Though, it doesn’t always mean the person is cheating. Those hurtful words can also be an indicator of dissatisfaction. So if your girlfriend suddenly starts accusing you of being “wrong” in some way or another, ask: “what do you really want from me, and from our relationship?”. Sometimes it can even prevent break-ups or cheating.
2. Sudden changes in her schedule
When a person starts secretly dating someone, it needs time. Mostly cheating is not only physical, but also psychological – the person falls in love with someone new. But romantic relationships require a lot of time. A working or irradiated girl in a relationship doesn’t have that much time. Therefore, the schedule has to change completely. She may start skipping classes, staying late after work, etc.
Most often it is the relationship with the current partner that suffers – dating becomes less frequent, correspondence becomes less frequent, and the total time spent together with the partner decreases significantly.
3. Changes in sexual life
When a partner suddenly begins to behave too openly or, on the contrary, begins to be shy and avoid sexual life, it is a sign of discomfort, primarily psychological. It may indicate adultery.
Excessive looseness, a taste for something new and unusual knowledge of your partner that came out of nowhere can be a sign that the person is cheating.
When a girl, on the contrary, closes herself off, becomes self-conscious about her body and avoids sexual intercourse, then these are manifestations of guilt and shame that may appear after the betrayal.
Your intimate life tends to be zero. Even kissing has become rare. Avoiding intimacy with a regular partner is the most important sign of adultery. A woman’s coldness in bed is explained by her emotional rejection of a man. However, these same signs can also indicate distrust or physical discomfort during sex.
4. Lack of trust
When a couple loses trust in each other, it is the first sign that something urgently needs to change. However, it can also be an indication that the partner has had a new affair and is trying to hide it.
Sometimes this person, having betrayed his partner, begins to fear that they will do the same to her. After all, if it worked for her, they may do the same to her. Because of this the cheater becomes irritable, finicky and distrustful.
Often there are conflicts on the basis of mistrust of each other: because the partner was late at work, somehow dressed wrongly, or just did not respond to messages for a long time.
5. Change in the usage of social media
It is necessary to find time for your lover not only in real life, but also on social networks. When a person is in love, he always finds time for his lover, this manifests itself in regular correspondence. It is the most common reason why cheaters are caught.
At the same time with their former partner they start to behave on the contrary more aloof: they answer (or ignore) messages longer, and do not answer the phone. Even in the messages themselves it is manifested by short one-liners and a lack of support or warm words in correspondence.
When calling from a number you do not know, she goes to another room, bathroom or toilet, turns on the water or simply closes the door.
A cheating girlfriend restricts her personal space. She begins to hide correspondence, does not give her phone or computer, gets nervous if her partner uses one of the gadgets without asking. If you share the same device, you may notice that she often deletes messages.
6. Changes in her appearance
Cheaters often have a crush on their lover, so they begin to behave enthusiastically and start spending more time on their appearance. They may also spend money on new clothes (sometimes secretly), cosmetics. Girls may suddenly change their hair style – grow or cut their hair, go for manicures and salons more often.
At the same time, a change of appearance in itself does not mean adultery. People sometimes want to change something about themselves, so it’s always important to ask what value a person attaches to their actions. If the partner answers that it is her own desire and there is no suspicion of his infidelity, then there is no need to attach importance to sudden changes.
7. She acts aloof around you
A person just can’t split romantic feelings evenly if she’s already cheating behind someone’s back. That is, the partner has put the current relationship below possible new relationships. Therefore, cheaters often begin to distance themselves from their current partners, toward a new romantic relationship.
Because of this, their behavior changes dramatically. They begin to act aloof, unconcerned. Often they begin to pick on domestic trifles and start quarrels.
As a result, there is a feeling that the partner is no longer interested in the relationship, which in the case of cheating may prove to be true.
8. Her body language has changed
Even when the girl continues to lead and talk to her partner as usual, she can show her feelings with her body language:
- Detachment – she pulls her body torso and legs to the opposite side.
- Mimicry – she often avoids eye contact, the corners of her mouth are down, she looks down or to the side.
At the same time, these features should be repeated. Then you can suspect that the person feels uncomfortable with you at a subconscious level. This can indicate both an adultery and a change of feelings on the part of the partner. In any case, it is worth paying attention to this and discussing it with your girlfriend.
9. She talks too much or conceals new acquaintances
On the one hand, it is worth being wary when a girl starts talking about the other person too much, exclusively in a positive context. Even worse if the new acquaintance is compared to the current partner.
Or it could be the opposite situation – the girl does not say anything about the new acquaintances, sometimes she even hides it under the pretext that it is important information.
In both cases it is necessary to find out the reason why the partner keeps the new acquaintances a secret or considers them better than the current relationship. In case the girl says it doesn’t matter – tell her that who she communicates with matters to you, and knowing each other’s social circle doesn’t mean limiting your personal life.
10. She is too interested in your plans
Being in a relationship always suggests being part of the other person’s life. That is, to be in touch with his plans – to influence them, to consider or plan some events together with the partner.
However, there should be personal space even in marriage. Therefore, an overly obsessive interest in your partner’s personal plans can be not only unpleasant, but also suspicious.
After all, in order to plan a pastime with a lover, you need to know the schedule of your partner thoroughly. At the same time, the cheater will get angry if she gets the time wrong or gets unclear answers to her questions.
11. She often talks about break-up
Talking about breakups is a serious topic that doesn’t come up in a healthy relationship. That said, cheaters can manipulate it – talking about breaking up after every minor quarrel, threatening them, or saying they can’t continue to be in the relationship.
However, such words often come from feelings of guilt after the cheating – the cheater feels guilty and either punishes herself and makes an attempt to let her partner go this way, or she avoids responsibility and shifts the blame to the other. In any case, when a partner talks about breaking up, even emotionally, it is a very bad sign.
12. Avoiding eye-contact
Feeling of shame and guilt are often expressed through non-verbal communication, most importantly – eyes. Cheaters can avoid eye contact, or look into your eyes for short periods of time.
This behavior shows inner discomfort and frustration. Sometimes even disappointment in relationships. But on the other hand, avoiding eye contact can be traces of mental issues.
As the body language and struggle with maintaining eye contact aren’t under our control, nobody should be accused of not looking into their partner’s eyes long enough or turning their shoulders in the other direction. Moreover, discomfort should be taken patiently. Try asking your girlfriend if she is feeling uncomfortable, and why.
13. Mood swings
Internal discomfort, constant guilt and shame entail stress. This spiritual conflict cannot find a resolution and therefore often results in severe mood swings.
The cheater, under the influence of feelings of guilt, will try to show attention, tenderness and care for his partner. However, these feelings quickly give the way to irritation, anger and even disgust.
According to many unfaithful wives, they become very ashamed of their adultery, there is a desire to comfort her husband, to caress him. But at the same time there is a feeling of disgust for his body.
14. She excludes you from her plans
A new love interest requires attention. Therefore, the girl chooses to reduce her time with her current partner and devotes more time to her lover. This redistribution is reflected in the exclusion of the current partner from all of the girl’s plans, including public ones.
She stops coming with you to corporate parties, birthdays, to visit acquaintances. Dates become rarer, shorter, and sometimes there are no dates at all. On the part of the girl, the initiative disappears to make joint plans not only for the distant future, but also for the next weekend. In the end, time together is reduced to a minimum.
15. She accuses you in cheating
When a girl feels guilt, she can try to transfer that feeling to her partner. It can result in gaslighting: “you’re just too jealous and making things up” or accusations of cheating “you don’t want to tell me anything, maybe you are hiding something?”.
Dealing with these accusations can be hard, because it means there is no trust between lovers.
In this situation it is especially important to defend yourself. That doesn’t mean accusing each other, but to ask honestly, what led to this conflict.
What to do when you suspect your girlfriend is cheating?
If there are some signs that your partner is secretly dating another, try giving her the benefit of the doubt and give her a chance to tell her point of view. So if you suspect your girlfriend is cheating you should:
- Share your suspicions with her. Most likely, the mere thought of having this conversation makes you nervous, but it’s the only way to know for sure if she’s cheating. State your intentions of saving your relationship and trying to resolve the conflict. Explain clearly what made you think that she had been in a secret relationship. You also need to remember that yelling and accusations will not help save the relationship and even if you break up later, you need to respect the rights of the ex-girlfriend.
- Be patient and calm. Talking about betrayal and breaking up is very difficult for both parties, but it is important to control your emotions and not make an already difficult situation worse.
- Discuss the situation and listen to your girlfriend. Let the girl tell her view of this situation and then decide if you are ready to believe her.
- Discuss the decision about the break-up or saving your relationship.
- Remember not to breach personal privacy of your partner: don’t take photos, videos or follow her without permission – that is illegal and disrespectful. Even if your girlfriend or wife did cheat on you – don’t take the blame or give up trust in people. Try to take some time only for yourself and heal.
Every couple can save the relationship, but it is important to work together and not allow circumstances to separate you. Usually, cheating is preceded by disagreements in the couple, the cooling of feelings and other anxious moments, resolving in a timely manner that can prevent infidelity.