Recently, a very large amount of people prefer virtual contacts, not only for work tasks or friendship, but also for online dating.
It is psychologically convenient: you can not worry about judgment, to leave complexes and communicate freely. However, a lot of freedom reduces a person’s sense of responsibility. This can lead to conflicts and the end of the relationship.
1. Easy to start, easy to end
In the online space, it’s easy to take your first steps and send a message. It won’t affect your reputation and, what’s more, won’t surprise anyone. During online dating, you have the full right to choose from the women presented on the website. You can correspond and communicate with several candidates at once. It’s up to you to decide if you want to meet in real life or not.
But too much freedom in the interactions on the Internet along with lack of responsibility can result in quick start and quick end of online dating.
The woman on the other side may be talking to other candidates at the same time, or just looking for new acquaintances for fun. In that case, she will simply stop communicating with you when needed, quite possibly without explaining her reasons.
The Internet makes it possible to be whoever you want and to use it to your benefit. Attributing other people’s merits, creating an image of someone who is not really a person and hiding facts is easy not only in terms of implementation, but also morally. No one will judge, and it is quite possible that such pranks will go unnoticed until the actual meeting. And when the people first meet in real life, then you are already trapped.
3. Wrong psychological portrait
Spending time together, you get to know your partner better, you show and accept caring, you talk heart-to-heart, and you make tactile contact. The combination of these indicators makes you feel needed and loved.
But when there is no personal contact or opportunity to show your feelings for your partner, it affects the quality of the relationship and your inner satisfaction with it.
The best way to have psychological contact with anyone is to meet her physically. Photos and messages are no substitute for the experience of actually being with your partner. For many, hearing the timbre of the voice, hugging or seeing the emotions of the person you are talking to is very important.
Behind the appearance of a decent person, a pervert can hide pretending to be a woman or a scammer. And there are also those who are interested in fleeting meetings, so you need to make sure if the person is set up for a serious relationship (if, of course, you are set up for one).
A woman can use online dating just to meet a man, but only once, to have a free meal at a restaurant and get a one-night stand.
One of the most popular scams is transferring money to the phone. In that case, a girl offers to call her because she wants to hear your voice or has very limited access to a computer, but unfortunately her SIM card is blocked and there is nothing or nowhere to recharge it.
The stranger offers to send a text message with a recharge code. After the request is fulfilled, your number will be blocked.
Often, fraudsters start blackmailing their victims. They ask them to send intimate photos and then demand to buy them back, threatening to send the photos to her or his relatives, colleagues, and acquaintances.
Sometimes scammers try to infect the devices of their “date” with viruses which can steal personal data and funds from the mobile bank. As a rule, viruses hide behind links that fraudsters drop into chat rooms under the guise of interesting applications.
5. The Problem of self-identification and identity in online dating
In real life, each of us plays a certain role, which imposes a mark on appearance, on communication and behavior.
The concept of “self-identity” describes the totality of qualities that makes a person who he or she is. In the online dating, we choose our age, gender, sexual orientation and social status. A person can give deliberately false information about herself (because of insecurity, the presence of complexes, etc.) and then reproduce the person they came up with. That kind of relationship doesn’t get very far.
When the virtual interlocutor does not see you, being thousands of miles away, the responsibility to him disappears. You can promise anything and never do that.
Online dating changes people emotionally and mentally. Voluntarily depriving themselves of communication in real life, a person misses the opportunity to experience real feelings.
On the other hand, it often leads to a loss of self-identity and can even result in catfishing or an imposter syndrome.
6. Difficulties in the getting to know each other
Too much choice of potential candidates devalues the very idea of finding a couple, and people get used to going through and evaluating photos and having conversations instead of deepening online dating.
Communicating virtually, Internet users pay attention to the intelligence, humor, the ability to hold a conversation, and give them non-existent qualities.
To prevent from turning your life into a mirage, you need to keep your mind on the right track. To do this, there are simple test questions:
- What do I want from this relationship?
- Is this relationship comfortable for me and my partner?
- Does this relationship influence me? How?
Real communication is lively. It does not allow one to delete the first thought. On the Internet, however, one clearly filters what to write. In general, speech on the Internet changes: abbreviations, mistakes, slang.
During online dating, a person can lie about anything, including her marital status. Some women may be looking for a backup or just someone to experience new romantic feelings. Sometimes they make new online acquaintances specifically to cause jealousy or to get revenge on an ex. It’s better to know this kind of information in advance.
There are three ways to find out if a person is married or has been divorced:
- By phone directory – to search for a person by surname, first name, patronymic, if the woman is living with someone else it’s probably her husband;
- Using social networking profiles – by typing into the search her full name, and if the profile is open, you can analyze the photos, wall, records, and draw a conclusion based on this information.
- Discord, Skype, etc. There are boxes for marital status in such programs. Some people fill them out.
8. Unsociable dating
A person who is involved only in online dating does not develop his or her social skills. Sometimes the propensity for online dating can be due to negative experiences from previous relationships. The experience blocks the possibility of being physically together.
9. Emotional game
Virtual communication and online dating can be just a game that exists only in a person’s mind. For one person, such a game acts as an attempt to avoid loneliness, and for another person it is just another entertainment.
If a woman really wants to meet, she won’t drag out the correspondence. A couple of months is enough to know if you want to continue the relationship or not.
After a few emails, you can call and see if she’s a real person. If the woman doesn’t want to communicate on the phone, it can be an indicator that she doesn’t care about getting to know you more deeply.
When there is no personal contact or opportunity to show your feelings for your partner, it affects the quality of the relationship and your inner satisfaction with it. When you spend time together, you get to know your partner better, you show and accept caring, you talk heart-to-heart, you make tactile contact. The combination of these indicators makes you feel needed and loved.
10. Data distortion
In real communication we see all the reactions of the interlocutor on a “here and now” basis: tone and speed of speech, gestures, facial expressions, and so on. This reduces the risk of misinterpretation of information or deception.
But even the best microphone or webcam cannot transmit all the features of the voice and appearance of the person. In addition, we change our own behavior in online dating.
11. Physical danger
Planning a real meeting can be exciting, but it can also be dangerous. A man cannot be sure who he is communicating with.
How to avoid dangers of real meeting after online dating:
1. Take care of your safety, do not immediately trust a stranger and do not give your coordinates and address.
2. Don’t try to make an appointment at the first correspondence: talk for a while, get to know each other.
3. Try to find out as much information as you can about the person you are talking to. That is, ask about a page in social media (for example, under the pretext that it’ll be easier to communicate there), and if she does not want to give a link, then this is a reason to be wary. But you can also do a little digging on the Internet: if the name is correct, there is a good chance to find some information.
4. As a place for the first meeting, you should choose crowded public places.
5. When you chat online, act naturally, don’t try to seem better, smarter than you are, don’t lie. When we meet, all the moments are revealed anyway.
6. Do not fall in love in absentia only by correspondence, it is quite possible that the one who impressed you so much is only your own illusion.
Sometimes a full-grown man can pretend to be a woman and tries to make you sending intimate pictures. They can:
- Talk too much on sexual topics.
- Sexual role play while chatting.
- Demand intimate pictures.
For your own safety, never send intimate photos. No matter how persistent your partner is.