Letting someone close to your own life and surroundings and constantly developing and working on the relationship can be not easy. It’s more evident, if your partner has a different language, traditions and culture.
To avoid awkwardness and make communication as comfortable and interesting as possible, one can know some more about Asian dating.
Asian dating is often organized by close friends or family. For example, in Korea sometimes people organize “dating meetings” – Sogetin. It combines the words “mithin” (from the English word for meeting) and sogae, which translates as “introduction” or “present”. It is a blind date arranged for a couple by their mutual friends, colleagues, or acquaintances.
It is important to remember that dating a foreign man or woman is prestigious in Asia. In Japan, there is even a term for that: “gaijin hunters”. It means that an Asian man or woman is attracted only to non-Asian descent.
It can seem harmless, but gaijin hunters are only interested in your looks, and for them, it’s a way to elevate themselves in minor social groups and to brag about.
2. Appearance matters
Asian dating values natural appearance and grooming. Therefore, it is not recommended for girls to wear too heavy makeup on first dates. It is not recommended to use a lot of perfume.
When getting acquainted and at the very beginning of the relationship, a lot depends on appearance. This does not mean that you have to radically change your style – you just need to pay a little more attention to the preparation for the date. Asian dating beauty standards include:
- Light skin – in some countries, it’s even popular to lighten the skin.
- Slim body shape – this applies to both genders.
- Youthfulness – it is popular among girls to be visually younger.
Additionally, many Asians use colored lenses and dye their hair. These trends do not have to be followed, but you should consider that if your partner decided to wear colored lenses or change your hair for a second date, it’s a positive sign.
3. Restaurant fee
A delicate question: who pays the bill in a restaurant, a man or a woman? In Japan, older men pay the bill themselves and may even be offended if they try to pay part of it.
On the other hand, those who are younger don’t mind splitting the bill in half. Girls should politely offer to pay part of the bill, and if the man refuses, don’t insist. On the man’s side, it is better to be ready to pay the whole price, because about 70% of Japanese women prefer that the on first date the bill is paid by the man.
In South Korea, restaurant bills are paid together, so no matter what your gender is, you should pay half of the price. But there is a nuance — if you are a man, and you really liked the date, you can pay the full price.
Chinese men usually pay for their date, doing otherwise can offend them.
4. Make the relationship official in Asian dating
In Korea, more often than not, a relationship officially begins after the first date. Less often, and usually if things were somehow not very definite between the two, with the words “Let’s date”. In any case, to avoid awkwardness due to language barriers or misunderstandings, it is better to clarify the current status and the official date of the beginning of the relationship.
5. Don’t make out in public
Asian dating doesn’t evolve at a fast pace – a couple almost never even kiss on the first date. But more importantly, it is indecent to express their feelings in public.
In Asian countries, it is not customary to kiss or touch each other in explicit terms. The maximum that is allowed to do on the street is to hold hands. However, it is worth bearing in mind that it is better not to try to take your partner’s hand before you officially enter into a relationship.
If you ignore the rules of public behavior before, you can put your partner in an uncomfortable position. Don’t hesitate to clarify what your date will allow you to do in public and what he or she won’t.
A public way to show your feelings and at the same time to demonstrate your care for your partner are paired items. It can be clothes, shoes, accessories, or even trinkets. This is not only an indicator that the couple are romantically involved, but also a good gift.
After you officially start dating, the most exciting moment for Asian dating is the first anniversary. For instance, in Korea, the first anniversary is not a year, but 100 days. After passing this mark, the relationship is considered strong and a more serious stage.
It is the time for big gestures: buy a hundred roses, have a date on the roof, etc. So the first anniversary should be thought out and prepared in advance, because this day is very important in Asian dating.
The 22nd, 100th, 200th, and 300th days together are considered important anniversaries. After the 300th day, the next one is usually the 1000th. On those days you can go on a date together and give small pleasant things.
7. Learn their native language
When being together is comfortable, the language barrier is not an acute problem. However, starting to learn a new language is good for future interaction, as well as showing respect for your partner’s culture.
You don’t have to start with grammatical structures or reading. You can memorize a couple of affectionate appeals in your partner’s native language – it will be a nice compliment that will definitely not go unnoticed.
8. Don’t do catfishing or follow flirting tutorials
The first way to push someone away is to act according to a preconceived pattern, or to pretend to be someone else. This is disrespectful not only to an Asian dating but to anybody. You won’t build a strong relationship by using someone else’s personality or words. You need to act and speak naturally, not try to imitate media personalities, friends or relatives. Just be yourself.
Catfishing is not an exception. This is disrespectful and rude. Imitating another person and luring someone into a relationship can cause serious consequences: break-up, psychological trauma and problems with law. Though catfishing itself isn’t illegal, there are some ways to sue a catfisher if you became his or her victim.
Gifts in Asian dating not only show caring, but are also the part of polite interaction to each other. Gifts are given to neighbors, colleagues, acquaintances, etc. You can also give something as a gift to your companion.
However, you need to remember that in Japan, the gift for February 14 is given by the girl. If you are given a handmade chocolate – it is a romantic sign and most often the recognition of feelings. In return, men give chocolates for March 14.
It is important that when you give a gift, the Asian woman may start to refuse. This is normal and considered polite, so you need to be a little persistent and after the person accepts your gift, thank her.
It is undesirable to give items folk superstitions are associated with: mirrors, umbrellas, sharp objects, watches associated with the number 4 or in the number of four pieces.
To make compliments in Asian dating, it is enough to choose sincere words about the features that impressed you. It is important to remember that compliments about appearance are nice, but even nicer are words concerning your partner’s personality.
They show that you pay attention to her words and that you seek to get to know her better. It would be even nicer if a compliment is said in your partner’s native language. You should know beforehand exactly the meaning of the words you are going to use to avoid misunderstandings.
Attention, sincerity and the right words can impress anyone. When you are trying to start or develop a relationship with someone of another nationality, it is not only an obstacle, but also an interest in the culture. So don’t hesitate to ask your partner any questions, even about everyday little things they might do differently.
After all, communicating as a couple when you like each other denotes respect and interest, including the cultural heritage and values of your partner.